The approach aspect of the seduction phase is probably the most glorified moment in the whole process. I have no idea why, but maybe it’s because it just looks so visually impressive.
I mean, the ability to just walk up to a random hottie and get her phone number is pretty much any man’s dream.
So that’s why a lot of guys get caught up in approaching women. But let me tell you, approaching women is just one of the MANY aspects involved in seduction and you shouldn’t spend all your time stressing about getting the perfect opener.
As long as you’re able to say something decent then she doesn’t tell you to get lost, then you’re onto something.
But hey, that’s just my opinion and you’re entitled to your own as well.
Before you make your decision however, let me inform you some facts on opening women.
There has been a lot of debate about what really works when approaching a woman.
The PUA opinion opener is one of the most popular openers for a guy to use when talking to a girl for the first time because it doesn’t seem like he’s hitting on her. Now this might seem like a good thing at first, sometimes you’re better off NOT using an opinion opener.
If you don’t know how to transition the conversation in a way that sets you up to get her phone number or Facebook you’re going to end up talking about something that you really don’t give a shit about. Not only will this waste your time but you’re going to not be paying attention to what she’s saying.
Why PUA opinion openers rock
You’re going to then be pressured and wondering “oh shit what do I ask her next” when she starts talking about whatever topic you opened her with. Not only does this put you in a bad situation but it makes you feel like a fraud.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the PUA opinion opener is a BAD thing. No, it’s actually pretty in genius at times, but you have to make sure when you do use it, the situation calls for the proper usage. Otherwise you’re just going to be incongruent with the application and make yourself fail.
Here’s a list of the situations when I believe an opinion opener is useful:
1. when you actually care about the topic you’re asking about
2. when she’s not in a rush
3. when you know how to transition to something not about the topic
4. when she’s at work and you don’t want to make it so obvious that you’re just hitting on her
5. when you’re not in a rush
6. when you have a real reason to be where you’re at (for example, you’re in a gym and go there a lot and you see her)
In those situations, using an opinion opener would be appropriate.
That’s because you’re going to be able to spend some time to build rapport with her and make small talk so it seems as if you’re getting to know each other. Great! That’s exactly how opinion openers were designed to operate.
But, what if you’re in these situations:
1. when you’re in a rush
2. when you know that she’s not going to be there very long (eg, public transport or on the street)
3. when you don’t know what topic to ask her about
4. when you don’t have a real excuse to talk to her
In these situations, I think the better way to approach her is to be just direct and forward.
Instead of asking her opinion about XYZ, if you start with:
“hey there, I was just walking by and noticed you. I then had to come and talk to you otherwise I’d really hate myself”
This really makes you stand out like a confident man. Not only are you being nice and smooth, it’s complimentary enough to make her smile, but not lame enough to make you sound like a needy loser. This would probably be much more powerful and useful than using the opinion opener because you get to your goal much more direct – in a way that still seems friendly and smooth.
I have used this approach when hitting on girls shopping, I think it gets a better response than asking random opinions when they are on the move. Sure, the rejection rate is higher, but hey, you’ll never run into the problem of being in the “friends zone” so the advantages are also there.
So remember the next time you’re thinking about using a PUA opinion opener, think to yourself “hmm.. maybe being direct will get me a better result”. That might be the difference between whether or not you get her number or go home with her opinions about something you don’t care about.