When you finally realize that you’re long-time friend may potentially be a love interest, there are some steps you need to follow. Acting hastily is not the way to do it. The best approach is a slow approach.
I would like to point that once you actually get yourself in the friends zone it’s like 10x harder to get out of it. So the best thing is to totally avoid it at the start. The friends zone is like trying to save yourself from drowning in quicksand. Sure you can get out of it, but you need to know the exact method and time your actions right. Otherwise you’re just going to sink further and further into the pit and end up never able to recover or come out.
Yes, it’s THAT bad. So avoid the friends zone.
But, if you’re in there already, here’s what I advise you to do.
Step One: Remember, She’s Your Friend
The key is to not get hostile around her, in the sense that if you see her flirting with another guy you won’t get unnecessarily defensive. Remember, you haven’t told her how you feel yet and she thinks you are just the friend you have always been. Embarrassing yourself by interrupting her while she is talking to, hugging, or even kissing another guy, will only hurt your chances of winning her heart.
She’s your friend foremost. Friends don’t get in the way of another friend’s good time. Don’t mistake what I’m saying though for something I’m not. Yeah, if you see your friend being harassed by another guy, by all means intervene. But, if she is enjoying her time with another guy, let her go. She’s having a good time and is happy. Being her friend, you should want her to enjoy yourself. Don’t worry, your time will come, but there is a right and wrong time to make your move.
Step Two: Level the Playing Field
Although I am not a proponent of jealousy, you can use it to your advantage in this case. Not in the sense that you should feel jealous because of the other guys she is talking to, but quite the opposite. She’s your friend and she cares about you just like you care about her. If she sees you flirting with other girls, she’s going to be a little jealous. She’s going to appreciate the fact that you aren’t all over her and you can act natural around her, even if she is the girl you are solely interested in.
The best thing to do when you’re around your friend and a bunch of other girls is to socialize with people other than her and let her do her own thing without becoming too concerned about what she’s up to. Even though it might feel like she doesn’t notice you talking to other girls, she does. And she’s slightly jealous. It’s human nature.
Basically, the best thing to do is stay on her level until you find the opportune moment to make a move on her. Looks of jealousy at her and the other guy she is talking to isn’t attractive. It makes you look needy, desperate, and, really, it’s emasculating. From my point of view, jealousy isn’t a man’s thing, it’s a woman’s. Women can wear jealousy a lot better than men can. Jealousy just makes us look pathetic. Also, if she sees you flirting with other girls, she’ll find more of a reason to take interest in you. She’ll be able to witness you pressing all of a girl’s buttons and, consequently, it will give her more of an urge to have her buttons pressed by you.
Step Three: Go for the Kill
Whenever the sexual tension between the two of you is at its peak, now is the time to make your move. After she has seen you, first hand, making girls laugh and feel sexy, she might consider testing the goods. All you have to do is make a move at the right moment and place. Don’t do this at a party when both of you are drunk! Alcohol attaches itself to mistakes. You don’t want her feeling like she has made a mistake looking at you as more than a friend. Both of you should have sober minds when you decide to make your move.
Do it over coffee, take her out to lunch, do it after you come out of a movie. Do it when you’re alone with her in her or your place. Again, just make sure your mind is sober. When you admit to her your feelings, do so with an open heart. Make sure she knows you are sincere and don’t take no for an answer. This is your one shot, don’t blow it. It’s normal for her to act a little hesitant. Promise her, no matter what, you two will always be friends first.